Ashes
by Loonaticslover13
Summary: "You watch as the picture burns in the fire. As your sisters burn in the fire. You want to rise from the ashes, like a phoenix. But your heart won't let you." The Black Sisters; a story of regret, love, death and forgiveness.


Ashes

_"You watch as the picture burns in the fire. As your sisters burn in the fire. You want to rise from the ashes, like a phoenix. But your heart won't let you." The Black Sisters; a story of regret, love, death and forgiveness._

* * *

Three young girls posed for the annual family portrait. The eldest, probably only eleven, has her hand placed on the middle girl's shoulder, has heavy, dark eyes, and black hair that cascaded in waves to her shoulders. She doesn't smile. The middle child is sitting on a stool, and greatly resembles the first, although her hair is lighter, and somewhat messier. Her eyes are kinder, and it looks as if she was about to smile. She looks to be about nine or ten. The youngest stands up as well, but she only reaches the middle child's shoulder. She has fair hair, and an upturned nose. Her eyes are the same as her sisters, but they seem brighter. She is smiling, and can't be older then seven.

* * *

It all ended, the day you told them. You figured, since you were leaving for good, the least you could do was say goodbye. You were as skilled as they were; they wouldn't be able to stop you from running away with Ted. Being _free__. _You watched them warily as the words tumbled off your tongue.

"I'm running away with him."

Bella took a few steps towards Cissy. Her lips pursed and her eyes seemed to harden. Her body was stiff. Cissy was looking at you, with blank eyes that were somehow at the same time so filled with emotions.

When Bella speaks, her voice is rough and cold. "You're not our sister, you blood traitor."

You expected it, expected for them to turn on you, but the words still stung. You nod curtly. Bella, the girl who would braid your hair. Who would help you complete puzzles on rainy days in the manor. Who beat up your first pureblood boyfriend after he hurt you so badly he had to be the hospital wing for three days. Bella, your big sister is gone. Bellatrix, the Death Eater, is who takes her place.

"And you Cissy?" You ask quietly. "What do you think?" You stare at her, searching for something, _anything_, from your younger sister.

"Go to your precious mudblood," she spits out. But as you look at them for the last time, you think you see a glimmer of regret. You assume it's your imagination, because as soon as it is there it is gone.

You turn on your heel and walk out of the house; it isn't your home anymore.

(You never knew that they cried themselves to sleep the night you left. They never knew you did too.)

* * *

You regard it as silly, stupid. Marrying for love? It's not what you need. You need to marry for purity. Toujours Pur, after all. So what if you don't love him? In time, you might. Besides, Cissy is getting married to Malfoy, they can produce an heir, and your husband his his brother to produce an heir. A child is not a necessity.

Besides, you assure yourself that you're much happier then your traitor sister. Andromeda (because Andy died when she abandoned you for _him_) doesn't have the Dark Lord, doesn't have a cause.

Years have passed though, and you still don't love your husband. There are more pressing matters on your mind right now. The Dark Lord, your Dark Lord, has almost achieved victory. Except for that dratted Potter. You suspect that your sister helped him escape from Potter's home.

Interesting, you think for a moment. Andromeda is on the mubloods side. You are on the right side. And Cissy is on whatever side will protect her son.

You dismiss the thought. You have jobs to do for your master, that he's only entrusted to you. He must care. You spent thirteen years in hell for him. He must care.

(You would never admit that you were almost jealous of Andy, because the mudblood must really love her for her to turn her back on you. You never know that Andy was sometimes jealous of you, not having to sacrifice anything.)

* * *

You were always different from your two sisters. Not as passionate, not as loyal. Not nearly as willing to fight for what you believed in. And neither were as torn. You love Bella; she believed the principals you were brought up on. She was the big sister, that no matter what, even though she also had Andy to look out for, she also protected you. She taught you nothing was more important then being loyal to your family. But you love Andromeda too, for she taught you to sacrifice something for what you truly cared about.

You sigh, and think about your husband (you count yourself lucky that you actually care about each other) and your precious son. Draco. Tears come to your eyes. You don't know what will keep him safe, what measures you will have to go to.

That question is answered in the Forbidden Forest. "Dead," you lie. Luckily, growing up Bella taught you Occlumency growing up. You once thought it tedious, but now you're grateful for it. The Dark Lord accepts your answer, and you see Bella cheer, for the death of a boy.

A boy Draco's age.

And you do not regret turning the fate of the war, almost certainly sending Bella to Azkaban again. Because you've seen her darkest side, most twisted, and you realize that although they share the name, Bellatrix Lestrange, the Death Eater, is not your sister. She is her master's puppet.

(You only wish you had realized it when Andromeda did. You sometimes suspect, later on, that's why Bellatrix acted so harshly; she didn't want anyone to realize her dark potential and leave her.)

* * *

You're in the heat of the battle. You are dueling the blood traitors' mother. "What will the kiddies do when mummy's gone the same way as Freddie?" You taunt. Your master will be proud of you for killing her off. You feel so alive.

"You will never touch our children AGAIN!"

And just like that, you're dead.

(Ironic, isn't it? And as you fade, the only thing you can picture is the family picture of your sisters and you taken when none of you were divided. And you feel something you've never felt before, that you had forbidden yourself to feel: regret. Why couldn't you have realized?)

* * *

You are, understandably, very upset when you learn your sister killed your daughter. You throw the picture, taken so many years ago, into the fire. You watch as it burns in the fire. As your sisters burn in the fire. You want to rise from the ashes, like a phoenix. But your heart won't let you, because murderer or not, Bella Black was your sister at one point, and it still hurts.

Teddy's cries alert you, and you bring him back down with you to the kitchen. You can see Dora in him, in his nose, and the natural colour of his eyes. Tears well in your eyes.

(And your eyes suddenly flit to the burning picture, and you feel something you've never felt before, that you had forbidden yourself to feel: regret. Would life be different, if you had stayed with them?)

* * *

You are again torn, this time between emotions. Draco is alive and unharmed. Harry Potter spoke up, so you aren't getting sentenced to Azkaban, and Lucius is getting a lighter sentence (only five years). But your eldest sister is dead. Gone. And Andromeda is now all alone with her daughter's son.

Not knowing exactly what's taken hold of you, you floo to her place and apologize. You're sorry, so sorry.

(You see the picture being burned, and you frown. You feel something you've never felt before, that you had forbidden yourself to feel: regret. Why hadn't you made amends earlier?)

You look at your sister carefully. Would she accept you?

Andromeda sets the baby down on the couch carefully and hugs you. You tighten your arms around her as tears stream down both of your faces. Because Andromeda has become Andy again.

"She never hated you," you say once you've split apart. Andy looks at you skeptically. "Bellatrix Lestrange may have seemed to, but on the inside, Bella Black, she always loved you, somewhere in there."

Andy nods. "I always have too." You both take a seat on the sofa and she introduces you to Teddy. He's such a sweet little boy.

You glance towards the fire. "You know, you can burn the past, but it's shaped who you are." Andy murmurs in agreement.

"I only wish things could have worked out differently between the three of us."

You grimace. "If it had worked out differently, we wouldn't be who we really are. Bella was always going to end up with the Dark Lord eventually. Although, I do agree. I miss our younger years when things were simpler."

Andy nods. "I suppose we shouldn't dwell on the past, but look to the future."

Still, there is one memory you can clearly remember, and you're sure Andy does too.

* * *

There is the click of the camera, and the youngest instantly looks up at the eldest, whose lips twitch upwards. "Come on Cissy, Andy," she affectionately. The middle child grimaces.

"Don't call me Andy, Bella," she says. Bella smiles.

"Why not?"

"It's a boys' name."

"I like it," Cissy says cheerfully. "It's unique."

"Two against one Andy," Bella says. Andy sighs in defeat, but can't help but smile.

"Fine."

* * *

You cry, holding your younger sister in your arms throughout the night while you both mourn. Mourn for those who died -Remus, Tonks, Ted, and poor little Teddy who will never know his parents- and for you sister, because it was like she was dead from the day you told them, with nothing but the crackling fire, burning the picture, trying to take the pain away.

Nothing ever could.

* * *

**A/N: oh my god this took so long...my brain feels dead and i still need to update a loonatics story! *sighs* I hope you all enjoyed this. This is the first time I've ever written anything about all or one of the Black sisters, so I hope I did them justice. I don't have a beta, so any mistakes is on me, although I'm sure they're fairly small. Please review.**


End file.
